talkin’ self-loathing blues …
I’ve been walking,
and a-talkin’
ramblin’ & rollin’
through deserted streets flowing with tears
down cobwebbed alleyways reeking of fears
just a-yakkin’ and a-scribblin’ these paltry rhymes
no absolution on sale at this carousel of blood-soaked crimes
just a-screamin’ that my tongue is fractured, broken
penitence perhaps for splintered words spoken
yes just ramblin’ along,
at ease at last
free of the shackles that bind my heart
crawlin’ on stage,
fatigued by this, my well-rehearsed part
dismissing clouds of promise
shredding whispered iloveyous
burning yesteryears struggles
denying my past as nonsensical farce
caught in a rat-trap
the walls closin’ in
tossin’ what’s left of me into fates’ dustbin
talkin’ too much as ever,
scribbling meagre rhymes to quell the mania
flowin’ in my veins like noxious poison
ramblin’ & a-rollin’ along
a doleful dirge for the paths I have chosen
shattering to pieces emotions frigid and a-frozen
just a-trippin’ through this circus parade,
seeking nothing much
‘cept the shelter of the shade
yet the paths wind
casting me adrift
on an ocean of tears
alone and at sea
squinting through blinded eyes that no longer can see
the pain etched on my own face
a wretched immigrant never knowing its place
so I keep ramblin’ and a-rollin’ along
bleeding out from a million cuts
always on the outside lookin’ in
while they dance and drink and cackle and fuck
leaving me to wallow
mired in the muck
so I ramble and roll and stagger through
discarding sentiments that once burned so true
suckling on apathy under skies of plastic blue
squinting through a foggy blur
life sprints past jabbing and a-pokin’
its parting words a venomous slur
whispered in a sickly sweet cacophonous murmur
I stand alone
a vacuum now fickle
and
hollow
yet
I ramble and roll
searching for a sliver of a moment without desolation
without sorrow
and
as I stagger along as I ramble and follow
the one constant
hope
hope
H O P E
hope for a less savage tomorrow …
(for Pete, Huddie, Woody)
peace | love | uBuntu
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