the perennial exile … … …

fitting in,
acceptably hushed,

alienation photoshopped, airbrushed …

at home ?

not this rolling stone,
bruising my rattled self to the bone,

enveloped by walls,
as each evening falls,

shivering as desolate morning dawns,

painted smile,
shushing rising bile,

my fatigued soul yawns,
a being who fawns:

the perennial exile … … …

Banksy

wishes …

            wishes …

may soft petals caress your being

may gentle shoulders share your burdens

may warm sunshine reach the innermost recesses of your thud-thudding heart

may these words
offer

solace
comfort

when hope
seems vacant

an empty space
hollow

cold
yet safe

in moments like those
is when

i
hope
you

know

there’s always the promise of a less harsh tomorrow …

the air and the flute

the air and the flute …

as air caresses the flute

unseen

leaving not a trace
of itself

gently melodious notes
echo invisibly

fused
by passionate breath mingling with air

unseen

neither here nor there

as i walk along
trampling memories

away
afar

trying
seeking always

always
to moult this skin

this sorry skin of words
wrapped around me  tight

staggering
scurrying

fleeing

into the arms

of
desolate
welcoming night

the river rolls …

neither here nor there …

traversing the meandering bylanes of life

tears fall
through the cauldron of strife

memories like jagged shards of sorrow,

embedded
hewn

into a torrent of emotion

flow on
               and on

cascading over raw wounds

                reaching without
                seeking
peace
                within

clinging onto
filaments of hope

while hollow words

crawl
fade

mope

slinking away to settle
           on tattered scrolls

while life persists,

so long as the river rolls…

                 

the whys and the lies…

why do tears fall from broken eyes

in blinding times of the lies of the wise

when spurious tongues dribble and drool

deeply enmeshed in the cesspool

of me myself and i …

when hunger is leased

venom slips through unleashed

me myself and i

as the scavenging resumes

its shutup
and its buy-bye…

scribblin’ self-deprecatin’ scribbles

the sapling that took root,

enmeshed in the sweat-soaked gulag of kisses & pain,

silence & self-pity,

will grow to be a tree,

rising above the prejudices of men,

higher & higher,

to that point when looking down,

humans all look the same.

and so …

I stretch out my arm,

my thumb defiant in the oppressive air,

& as I bid you an almondsweet adieu,

I hold you close,
whispering these words:

so long, my friend,
& stay well,

& know that I shall be counting down the days to how & to when,

I will see you here …

peace | love | uBuntu

for Pete, Huddie, & for Woody

talkin’ self-loathing blues …

I’ve been walking,
and a-talkin’

ramblin’ & rollin’

through deserted streets flowing with tears

down cobwebbed alleyways reeking of fears

just a-yakkin’ and a-scribblin’ these paltry rhymes

no absolution on sale at this carousel of blood-soaked crimes

just a-screamin’ that my tongue is fractured, broken

penitence perhaps for splintered words spoken

yes just ramblin’ along,

at ease at last

free of the shackles that bind my heart

crawlin’ on stage,
fatigued by this, my well-rehearsed part

dismissing clouds of promise

shredding whispered iloveyous

burning yesteryears struggles

denying my past as nonsensical farce

caught in a rat-trap
the walls closin’ in

tossin’ what’s left of me into fates’ dustbin

talkin’ too much as ever,

scribbling meagre rhymes to quell the mania

flowin’ in my veins like noxious poison

ramblin’ & a-rollin’ along

a doleful dirge for the paths I have chosen

shattering to pieces emotions frigid and a-frozen

just a-trippin’ through this circus parade,

seeking nothing much

‘cept the shelter of the shade

yet the paths wind
casting me adrift

on an ocean of tears
alone and at sea

squinting through blinded eyes that no longer can see

the pain etched on my own face

a wretched immigrant never knowing its place

so I keep ramblin’ and a-rollin’ along

bleeding out from a million cuts

always on the outside lookin’ in

while they dance and drink and cackle and fuck

leaving me to wallow

mired in the muck

so I ramble and roll and stagger through

discarding sentiments that once burned so true

suckling on apathy under skies of plastic blue

squinting through a foggy blur

life sprints past jabbing and a-pokin’

its parting words a venomous slur

whispered in a  sickly sweet cacophonous murmur

I stand alone

a vacuum now fickle
and
hollow

yet

I ramble and roll

searching for a sliver of a moment without desolation

without sorrow

and

as I stagger along as I ramble and follow

the one constant

hope

hope

H O P E

hope for a less savage tomorrow …

(for Pete, Huddie, Woody)

peace | love | uBuntu

Tears that Drown

why do tears fall
like rain,

slashing, flogging
splintered faces,

drowning in pain

peace | love | uBuntu

untitled …

fattened tears drip
like rain

drizzling
eyes moist with pain

beyond today
after yesterday

scampering
as
dreams like rain

skip
hop

only to disappear

down destinys’ drain

peace | love | uBuntu

escape | oblivion | sleep

seeking escape
oblivion

sleep
          where I cannot weep

where pain scurries off
melting into a night so deep

escape
oblivion

sleep

the solitude of night …

Night gathers the shards of my splintering heart,

mending fractures.

Ever mindful,
knowing,

that tomorrow may shred it all apart …

introspection – an Introspection

introspection – an Introspection.

when he | she | you left me,

i fled inwards …

… finding solace, comfort, a sense of belonging,

in the unfurling of emotions,

coiling around forlorn staircases,

brushing away hypodermic nettles,

scratching away cascading tears,

banishing uninvited truths,
shedding convenient lies,

losing confetti faith,
finding myself,

at long last,

in the flotsam and jetsam of far too many a guilty yesterday,

waiting to be flushed down the drain,

just like,
exactly like,

each and every word I say …

Port of Call – Yet Another Re-Post!

barefoot on a talcum beach,
alone, not lonely,

with the breath of the ocean a caressing balm,
soothing pained memories away,

to the swaying of a solitary palm.

barefoot on a talcum beach,
alone, not lonely,

feeling the brushing away of all past turmoil,

on a quest for solace, ever so hard to find,

yet comforted by the crashing of the waves,

as the tide cleanses all pain,

and leaves despair far, far behind.

barefoot on a talcum beach,
alone, not lonely,

drenched in a sea-breeze of mist,

that hushes the ache of bygone moons,

tasting the salty tang on my lips,

as the burnished sun,
over the distant horizon,
swoons,

and dips.

barefoot on a talcum beach,
alone, not lonely,

searching, ever searching,

for a slice of solitude,

as memory bids a final adieu,

reaching under the sea so vast,

and seeking comfort in the depths,

while embracing,

the tomorrows to come,
wishing that they be true.

barefoot on a talcum beach,
alone, not lonely,

seeing my truths drown,

as they slip beneath the turquoise waters,

feeling my heart ablaze,

with a passion that rarely falters.

barefoot on a talcum beach,
alone, not lonely,

yet knowing that I am home at long last,

wishing the waves would wash away,

the defences that once stood,

like an impregnable wall.

barefoot on a talcum beach,
alone, not lonely,

I have found,
at long last,

my final port of call …

Talkin’ Idle Existential Blues …

panning through marshes of  twisted roots,

scrounging for a handful of promised truths,

thawing wounds aching afresh,

discarded emotions gnawing into now catatonic flesh …

we walk on, ever on,

fleeing the tumult of yesterdays sorrow,

we walk on, ever on,

thirsting for a glimpse of that liberating tomorrow,

to finally rid the heaving heart of the weight of the past,

content no more with brief, tenuous ceasefires,

but hungering instead for a peace that shall last …

Dreams like Acid Rain …

slithering down the drain,

knots of bygone pain,

emotions disposed off,

to slip away,

like dreams of yesteryear,

washed – up,
wasted,

tracing vanished suns,

tasting like bitter,
acid rain …