Apartheitude …

Apartheitude – a personal belief presented as ‘fact’. Most often used to denigrate the ‘black’ government, in an attempt to justify racism.

painful it is to hear,

    from strangers, relatives,

    steve hofmeyr & company,

    friends, both near and dear,

    just how fucked-up this country is,

    cos´ you see, man,

    `these bloody blacks of `ours´ can´t rule´.

    `and it was so much better in the `old days´.

    note: old days = the Apartheid era.

    `oh ja, back then there was no crime´.

    note: back then = the Apartheid era.

    and no, they won´t say that `back then´ crime only affected the
`blacks´.

    no, they feign ignorance of the Group Areas Act and of the
Sowetos of our land.

    gugulethu, lenasia, khayelitsha, eldorado park, sebokeng, kwa-
mashu, alexandra township, botshabelo, azaadville, kagiso, riverlea,
mannenberg, roshnee, meadowlands, atteridgeville, chatsworth,
mamelodi, phoenix, newclare, rylands, tembisa,

    was it all a dream?

    or was it as I´ve so often heard it being justified “you see in
principle, there were `some bad things´ about Apartheid, but overall
the system was not an evil, monstrous, inhumane, tyrannical one”.

    no, of course not.

    “you guys won´t understand but things were different `when i was
your age´.

    note: when i was your age = the Apartheid era.

    of course, things were fucking different when you were my age, in
the old days, back then,

    because back then, in the old days, when you were my age …

    the lazy `kaffirs´ were merrily chilling in their sowetos,

    the drunken `hotnots´ were pissing it up in their mannenbergs,

    the shrewd `coolies´ were making money in their chatsworths,

    and the benevolent white-minority regime of the time was busy
seeing to all these niggling issues,

    and there were no electricity cuts for all.

    note: for all = for the privileged white-minority.

    joburg was so clean,

    there were none of these bloody _____________

    ( fill in where appropriate = zimbabweans, `these foreigners´,
pakis, somalis, mozambicans, `fucking foreigners´ etc ).

    so of course things were fucking different when you were my age.

    `ag not like today, né, man´.

    note: today = all things bad. namely:

    a `black government´.

    a `fucked-up constitution that gives criminals more rights than
`us´ normal citizens enjoy´.

    an `almost failed-state banana republic, but `i tell you, give
this country 5 more years and see what malema does to it, ja bru,
just you check and see´.

    and on,

    and fucking endlessly on,

    and on and on it goes,

    a desperate, well-meaning, heartfelt, reasonable, patriotic,
`only because I care´,

    meditation on the state of the nation.

    yes, oh most definitely yes,

    the virus mutates: Apartheid 2014-style.

    “Apartheitude”.

    with style,

    fuck no, not gangnam style, ag nee man

(special thanks to Alan Finlay for his invaluable advice)