Tag Archive: despair


sidestepping shards

Artwork from Google



sidestepping shards of splintered glass, beyond the haze of billowing grass,


yesterday came, as today left, leaving me empty within, bereft,


so take my hand and walk with me awhile, beyond the tears, smuggling in a faint smile,


who knows the paths we’ll weave, as time trickles through its merciless sieve,


so take my hand and we’ll walk awhile,


a few steps today, and who knows,


tomorrow may be many a mile … …






Artwork from google




distant shores …



when you strolled into my life, ’twas beset with emptiness, restlessness, strife,


when you ambled into my world, ’twas but a maelstrom which bubbled and swirled,


when your hand took mine in yours, we shared the peacefulness of distant shores,


distant shores where troubles were washed away by the sea, where two souls merged, I into thee,


distant shores upon whose beaches we walked alone, leaving behind a world hardened as stone,


distant shores of love, joy, and of peace, where time itself felt it would cease,


ah! those distant shores of my silly dreams, crushed and broken by waking,

only to be ripped apart at the seams …




We THE People

from google





we the people.






as the forces of reaction grow louder, as the fascism of right-wing politics seem to be burgeoning, as the misogyny and racism and attacks on the rights of those who love differently echoes through the corridors of power, as all of this and so much more fills the air we breathe with a noxious stench, may we the people resist! may we the people erect the barricades, may we the people look back to all those brave and courageous souls who stood upright and fought the battles of yesterday – and not give in to despondency, may we the people resist and in resisting may we send a clear and resounding message to the forces that choose to divide, not unite, engender narrow nationalism not fraternal internationalism, may our message to them be clear, concise and loud – no pasaran! you shall not pass, for though you may wield the whip of power, we the people shall not give in to your tunnel vision of the politics of hate and divisiveness, for We The People always have been, and shall remain many, many more. Take heed of history for you stand rickety on the losing side and lose you shall, despite your gains here and there, lose you shall and lose you will, for We The People have been and always shall be many, many more. many more than the 1%, many more than the vultures of capital and greed, many more than you are, and ever shall be. 




We The People are many, many more.




Amandla!


Venceremos!


Aluta Continua!


We SHALL Overcome!





Jazz Artwork from Google



hugging hope …




years days moments minutes hours months weeks decades,


pockmarked,

weary,


skidding,

clinging onto,

raging roads,


hobbled,

shovelled,

dragged deep,


wrestling demons without,

within,


yet always,

always,


hugging hope,



as night yawns,

and a new day dawns …




Artwork from Google

in love with hope

artwork from google




in love with hope …




she comes to me,

offering solace, gentle words whispered in my ear,


she placates me,

her words a tender caress, dispelling fear,


she seduces me, as sure as she breathes fire into my soul,


she teases me, offering glimpses of the promise of being whole,


she heals me, when i’m down, battered blue black,


she picks me up, shuffling my self as bones achingly crack.




in love with her, i know now, without her, i would not cope,


in love with her, i know now, she is abiding hope,


hope lives,

hope breathes,


always … …



Picasso’s ‘Dove of Peace’ – artwork from google

Why does the sun dry up so many scattered tears
Slipping down the coarse cheek of a million hushed fears
Where no one is scalded though the searing fog clears
While prayers are mutely spoken even as the end nears

We shatter and scrape on demented knees
Blindly begging for mercy as it silently flees
Searching listlessly for salvation drowned in the breeze
That spits at the soft rose suffocated by a wheeze

I know now what I need never have known
Of hope that was trampled before it had flown
Into a wasted sky filled with hate that could drown
The giggling of the crowd and the crying of the clown

A hope so fragile its wings were of brittle glass
Ripping the veneer off the sewers of class
Twisting the fabric of the weighed and costed mass
Who numbly waited hoping that it too may pass

For when shards of that hope in all hearts scurries away
To a darkness where crowded night is emptied off the heaving tray
’Tis then when sewn eyes behold that doleful day
When all shall tear at each other while on demented knees we still pray

For a lifting of the veil of that wilful deceit
That’s wrapped up in a flag swollen with conceit
While the limbs splinter in the claw of a winner’s defeat
Yet still the drums roll for the ill-fated souls chose never to retreat

From that drenched battleground where blood flows through a sieve
And love’s lost song plaintively begs for a reprieve
From eternal loss which into raw emotion does cleave
Only to slip through the fingers and like grains of sand leave

( for Bob Dylan )

A Tribute to Bruce Springsteen … … …
image

it was a rain-swept monsoon day,
way back then, so many moons away

when i felt the music strumming in my veins,
setting me free like a runaway horse without any reins

you sang of simple truths,
your verse spoke to people just like me,
in my lonely, wasted, and desolately quiet night,
as you screamed out tragic human wrongs, and of everyone’s plight,

‘bobby jean’ spoke to me,
of that girl down the street,
glimpses of whom, we as innocents would furtively meet,

and ‘the river’ that flowed through my ever-barren heart,
led me down further roads of thunder,
when slowly i finally learnt that the hardest part was fighting on,

and never to surrender,
to the hard-luck dreams that were born to run,
while i danced in the dark,
with memories vivid and stark,

even as i whined like that dog who for forever lost his howling bark,
and then a ‘human touch’ came along,
and ‘better days’ seemed real, not just words in a song,

and still you sang and swayed and spoke straight into my unseeing eyes,

as gardens of secrets were opened, and as your fist punched the skies,

in an anger that i too felt and in whose cauldron i too burned,
as we saw murder get incorporated, while on its wobbly axis, our fragile world apathetically turned,

and then suddenly i was told that i was all grown up,
working on a highway of scattered ideals,
and absolving myself by sprinkling some coins in a waiting cup,

well, after all these years of walking along so many a thorny road,

with an armour of your verse covering me, even as i hear them taunt me and even as they continue to goad,

but now i can feel myself fading away, into the bleakness of this coming night,

just like the ghost of that old tom joad.

FOR BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

silly scribbles … … …

what is home to the vagabond soul,
                   spiralling,
                   splintering,

                   skewered,
                   unwhole,

plodding along
                 paths of
              broken glass,

comforting,
                   cajoling,
                   assuring
             my tattered soul:

these desolate moments
               
                  must

                  also
           
                  pass … … …

no blue monday for you

no blue monday for you

when tears moisten your eyes
and the horizons seem leaden
weighed down by grey skies

when
everyone
everything

suffocates
and life seems like a sad circus
a comical convergence of fates

may you always
always

pause …
to
remember …

that
you are human too

and
that
you feel

deep in your marrow
your entire being through

the sting of griefs fire
and
the ache of unquenched desire

felt
deep

felt true
within you

the whys and the lies…

why do tears fall from broken eyes

in blinding times of the lies of the wise

when spurious tongues dribble and drool

deeply enmeshed in the cesspool

of me myself and i …

when hunger is leased

venom slips through unleashed

me myself and i

as the scavenging resumes

its shutup
and its buy-bye…

wrote this a while ago.

Sadly true today.

It ain’t Xenophobia? Really?

it’s not xenophobia,
the refrain is the same,

it’s the criminals to blame,

we still won’t be calling the attacks by their stinking name,

‘xenophobia’

yes,

that’s what it is,

but,

let us not be simplistic,

we have to face the ugliness of our collective shame,

because when mostly ‘foreigners’ get put to the flame,

how can we ignorance feign?

it’s xenophobia,
simple & plain,

with poverty & unemployment barrelling on a runaway train,

and it won’t just ‘go away’,

for as long as ignorant complicity continues to reign …

       _____________________

‘Xenophobia’ is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as:

” noun:

intense or irrational dislike or fear of people from other countries  “

The synonyms for xenophobia are:

chauvinism, racial intolerance, racism, dislike of foreigners, nationalism, prejudice.

     _____________

As a citizen of South Africa, I am acutely aware of the many challenges that our young country faces.

The iniquities of our tortured past, the legacy of Apartheid, socio-economic issues etc. are just a few of the many problems that South Africa is grappling with.

What is extremely disturbing for me is something that I have personally encountered, in conversations with friends, family, and fellow citizens from all walks of life.

That something is how rife ‘anti-foreigner’ sentiment is within our various, and still divided communities.

I have heard the most atrocious, insensitive, hate-filled utterances regarding the ‘foreigners’ who ‘take our jobs’, and ‘take our women’, and ‘are the cause of all the crime’, and ‘they must go back to their countries’, and most chillingly ‘we will kill these foreigners’.

I am also aware that many intellectuals, think-tanks, NGO’s, and sociologists etc. have written and spoken volumes about how the failure of proper service delivery by the government and local municipalities, and the myriad other shortcomings that plague our country have played a part in the emergence of this abhorrent xenophobic sentiments that are being spouted almost as if one was talking about culling animals in the Kruger National Park.

We have already witnessed the scourge of xenophobia, and not long ago, when organised bands of people marked, attacked and killed ‘foreigners’ in a frenzy of blood-letting and looting.

This was in 2008.

And today, as the father of the nation, Nelson Mandela lies ill in a hospital bed in Pretoria, I hear similar disturbing and blood-curdling hate-speech directed against ‘the foreigners’.

What is going on?

Where and how have we, as a country, failed, or more worryingly, chose to ignore the signs of this cancer that has to be dealt with, and dealt with as a matter of national priority.

The synonyms for xenophobia include racism, racial intolerance, and prejudice.

The neo-Nazis in Europe and elsewhere are xenophobes.

No one disputes that.

The neo-Nazis in Europe and elsewhere talk in almost exactly the same terms when they spout their rhetoric, when they go on ‘Paki-bashing’ sprees in England, when they deface Synagogues and Mosques and Temples, or when they beat up and kill ‘foreigners’ who ‘take our jobs’, and ‘take our women’, and ‘are the cause of all the crime’, and ‘they must go back to their countries’.

What is particularly disturbing about the rise of xenophobia, especially in the South African context is the complicity of silence, and by extension, a shocking acceptance of these racist and murderously dangerous views, by ‘normal’ citizens.

We are Africans.

And above all, we are all human.

This may seem like an obvious and unnecessary fact to point out, but when certain friends, family members, and people one interacts with daily, spew such xenophobic drivel, it needs to be taken seriously.

Pogroms, xenophobic attacks, racism, intolerance, prejudice, casteism, religious bigotry, sexism, and homophobia, do not simply arise out of nothing.

There are societal, religious, traditional, cultural and other factors that do indeed create fertile ground for some of these noxious sentiments to germinate.

It is incumbent on us all, people, just people, to engage with people, however close they may be to us, and challenge and make our voices heard that we will not stand mutely by, as such hate-filled venom is flung around nonchalantly.

We cannot be conspicuous by our silence and inaction when a large segment of our society, those who have chosen our country to be their home, often fleeing economic hardship, political and social violence, and numberless other factors that force, and this is important, people are forced into leaving their countries, often making hazardous and painful journeys in order to find safe-haven amongst fellow human-beings.

As South Africans, we know just how friendly countries welcomed us during the darkest days of Apartheid repression and tyranny.

Zambia, Zimbabwe, Tanzania, Mozambique, Angola, and the other ‘front-line’ states paid dearly for offering South Africans fleeing Apartheid a place of refuge as well as a base of operations against the oppressive Apartheid system.

Apartheid agents and security forces attacked, fomented insurrections against the governments in the front-line states, and still South Africans of all races, creeds etc. found a welcome home in these comradely countries.

We should never forget this.

Ever.

Our government needs to be more vocal about its stance on xenophobia, and by doing so it will send a message that it will not stand by idly while people from other parts of the continent are constantly under the threat of being attacked.

That said, we as citizens have a voice, and it is morally incumbent on all of us to do our bit so that the scourge of xenophobia is excised from this land.

There is a simmering undercurrent of the possibility of attacks on foreigners as I type these words.

If this is not taken seriously and dealt with, sadly we may see scenes similar to those we witnessed in 2008.

Mayibuye-i-Afrika!

The Struggles Continue!

focus | blur | the void

anchored by guilt,

echoes of promise snuffed out in the frigid air,

guilt hurls its snarl my way,

remember this and remember that,

as tears fail to fall,

from dry eyes,
weakened by the fight,

the unending skirmishes,

trench-warfare,

bleeding,

gushing hope,

for a few more tidbits of light

peace | love | uBuntu

the solitude of night …

Night gathers the shards of my splintering heart,

mending fractures.

Ever mindful,
knowing,

that tomorrow may shred it all apart …

introspection – an Introspection.

when he | she | you left me,

i fled inwards …

… finding solace, comfort, a sense of belonging,

in the unfurling of emotions,

coiling around forlorn staircases,

brushing away hypodermic nettles,

scratching away cascading tears,

banishing uninvited truths,
shedding convenient lies,

losing confetti faith,
finding myself,

at long last,

in the flotsam and jetsam of far too many a guilty yesterday,

waiting to be flushed down the drain,

just like,
exactly like,

each and every word I say …

The Fickle Cog …

broken rays of sunlight pierce through the casket of night,

murmurs of gentle persuasion echo within a tormented soul,

the respite from nights’ smothering,

sneaks between the gathering smog,

urging the faltering spirits of this tormented soul to rise up from the clingy bog,

and in rising,

liberating this soul from the desolation of being a phony, fickle cog …

Dreams like Acid Rain …

slithering down the drain,

knots of bygone pain,

emotions disposed off,

to slip away,

like dreams of yesteryear,

washed – up,
wasted,

tracing vanished suns,

tasting like bitter,
acid rain …

The Markets Are Down 2% …

Banish the hubris,

Toss away the choice words,

Spoken by rotten, broken tongues.

Silence the chorus of appalled shock.

Shred the sermons,

Burn down the gory edifices:

The churches, mosques, temples,

And the muted Gods they mock.

Drain the sewage.

Flush away the insidious odour,

Seeping up from malls, homes, carnivals.

Put it in a closet and weld the key in the lock.

Shut it all off.

Turn out the lights.

Pull the damned plug …

… but hold on to that blue-chip stock

Falling,
beyond the precipice,
into this gaping chasm.

Numbness ensues,

whirling emptiness,

swirling around and around,

in the recesses of my mind,

as it plummets,

in silent freefall.

My choices are stark,

hit rock bottom,
eyes open,

splitting into fragments,

left strewn across the canvas of loss.

Or,

shutting my eyes,

descending into oblivion,

exhaling as the valley of sorrow reaches up,

claiming me as its own.

But,

I choose to glide,

floating on thermals of hope,

settling deep in the bowels,

of this desolate grave,

to begin anew,

free from the fiction of truth,

to live, to love, once more,

no longer an accomplice,

and never again, a slave.

😉 Illegitimi non carborundum 🙂

 

Staggering, my vision cloudy,

I fall to the hard ground.

when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,

and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.

 

 

I see myself slipping,
down the abyss to where nothingness exists,

 

still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,
for my will to stay persists.

 

 

I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,

my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.

 

 

It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,

 

I summon the strength from deep within,

 

I rise, slowly, to face the day,

 

I refuse to sink,

 

to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,

 

to drown,

 

for I am stronger now,

 

indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,

 

I stand, bruised and bloody,

 

still,

 

I stand,

 

I refuse, to sink, to drown,

 

for they can try, to punish me some more,

 

but I shall not allow them to grind me down… 😉

A Chipped Heart

 

Dreaming, my heart brittle as glass,

my solitary facade a pitiful farce,

 

shards tearing out of my skin,

seeking release, from cages within,

 

I am lost, in the dream,

bellowing out a silent scream,

 

torn from reality, drowning in the now,

yet I refuse,

I refuse to succumb,

 

I refuse to bow.

 

My chipped heart, may be wounded,

wreathed in pain,

 

still,

 

I believe, love, truth, belonging,

 

will take my hand,

 

again…

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