A Day before Valentine’s.

So, the frenzied hunt is on,
for that perfect gift,
that unique something,
for that special someone.

Heart-shaped chocolates,
diverse species of stuffed animals,
gold and silver anklets,
carefully trimmed bouquets,
painstakingly worded cards,
gift vouchers, moonlit dinners,
cruises, picnics, breakfasts in bed.

Gosh, I’ve got to run,
I’ve just thought of exactly,

exactly what my cat will love…

Beethoven’s Ninth

…

‘did you hear it’, he asks me in a dream.

‘I haven’t stopped listening’, I say.

‘I wish I could hear it, just once’, he says with a pained smile.

‘the Ode to Joy moves me to tears’, I say.

‘I wish I could hear my sobs’, says Ludwig ruefully.

‘I wish I could see my tears’, I say.

He laughs a laugh he cannot hear.

I laugh too,
my eyes brimming with tears,

that only Ludwig can see

…

Eyes that See

…

I blink,
squinting,

searching for salvation.

I look,
straining,

pining for absolution.

I cry,
tears falling,

from eyes that fail me.

I implore them,
I beg them,

not to abandon me.

I stare,
aching to see,

I wait,

and wait.

I am still waiting,

to see

…

Futility and Hope

…

Futility and Hope

Buttoning-up my coat of weariness,
comfortable in catatonic numbness,

seeking nothing,

knowing,
nothing seeks me.

Dulled by the glitzy neon haze,
innured to the crassness of casual consumption,

seeking nothingness,

comforted,
that nothingness seeks me.

Futility gnaws,
clawing my insides,

I seek respite from the ceaseless torrent,

of helplessness.

I live with hope,
hugging it close to me,

I embrace hope,
knowing it to be true,

I cherish hope,
never wanting it to crawl away,

hope is my salvation,
hope is my talisman,

hope is all there is.

And so I live,

with hope.

…